Monday, October 11, 2010

Living in a Fairytale

I really do think I live in a fairytale. Everything that happens is just a scene in my fairytale. I want those fairytale endings, I believe everything works out in the end. But the end is getting closer and I'm getting older... when does my fairytale come together?

I think that's where I think too much, I just always want everything to be perfect, but I don't realize that not everything is perfect. If everything was perfect, there would be no excitement.

I think I've been learning a lot about myself lately. A lot about what I want, who I want to be, where I see myself in the future...

I just need to stop thinking so much. But it's hard to stop when that's all you've ever done.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

...

I had a dream you missed me. I wish it were true.

Friday, September 10, 2010

The stress is eating me alive.

I'm really, really busy... all the time... which is making me really, really stressed. Just everything is so stressful. Living arrangements, my internship, work, school, family, relationships... everything. Nothing is just not stressful and something I look forward to. I swear I'm going to die of a heart attack before I'm even 25. I'm too young to be this stressed. I NEED TO leave Georgia! I feel like this place is the cause of all my stress. I need to leave and go to a remote island for atleast a year and not have any communication with anyone. Maybe change my name, dye my hair, get surgery... just start a new life. I really, really need to relieve my stress. Can someone just make SOMETHING better? Just one thing out of the six I mentioned. Anything. Please?

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Yay?

So, it's officially my birthday, and I'm writing in this.

I really wanted to celebrate it, but its MY birthday. Is it selfish of me to think that someone would care to go out of their way to try to make it special for me? Especially since my 21st birthday sucked. I don't want to make any effort, yet, it's me making it. I just feel alone, like I have no one. I don't know what I want. I'm just unsatisfied with everything going on in my life. I need to move, I need to leave Georgia, I need to go somewhere where I can figure out who I am. I'm not happy. I just need to finish school first so I have nothing holding me back in Georgia. I hate it here. I hate not being close to anyone anymore.

Yay, Happy 22nd birthday to me.

Monday, August 9, 2010

I really don't like putting titles on these.

 ‎"The whole point of love, is to put someone elses needs above yours."


I just don't understand why this concept is so hard to grasp. Isn't love about sacrifice? Isn't love about giving up something you love doing, because the person you're with means more to you than anything else? Isn't it about doing things you love with the person you love and sharing this passion? I just want someone to share this passion with me. 

I don't know what I'm doing for my birthday yet... the one person I want to spend it with doesn't want to spend it with me. I'm just in this place in my life where I don't see my life going anywhere. I'm ready to progress, but it doesn't seem like that's what life has in store for me. I don't know what God wants me to do right now. I don't like where I am...


Saturday, July 31, 2010

Love?

As I was driving home today, I was stopped in front of a couple on a motorcycle. They weren't at all young, probably around their 50's. I couldn't help but stare at them from my rearview mirror. They just looked soo happy. They were hugging each other, giving kisses, laughing... why can't I be happy like that? I want that, that's all I ever wanted.

I just want to be loved and I want someone to love me. Not just love me, but NEED me. I just want it sooo bad. I was sitting in my car listening to Love The Way You Lie by Eminem ft. Rihanna, and just started crying. I hope they didn't see me and think I was some sort of crazy person. I don't know why that song just makes me so emotional. I was such a wreck.

I just want a love like the Notebook. I want someone to stay by my side for the rest of my life, I want someone to love me even when I don't remember them. I want to lay in bed in each others arms. I want to share my every feeling and thought with that one person. I just want it sooooo bad. Why can't I have it?

It's been a entire week since I haven't said one word to him. I feel like it really is just over. I don't want it to be, but I can't take any more deceit or pain from the one person that's supposed to make me feel like life is worth living. I don't feel that way... I want to though... not with just anyone, but with him. It's not happening though, nor does it feel like he wants it to happen.

I better stop before I turn into a even bigger emotional wreck.

Farah

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Randoms.

What's going to happen to Justin Bieber when he hits puberty?

Have any of you heard about the new world record for largest boobs?

The girl, Sheyla Hershey, beat the world record with KKK size boobs, and now is going through complications after her last plastic surgery. What I want to know is, why would you even want boobs that big?? They don't look good, at all, and I can't even see how anyone would find that attractive. I think she needs to reevaluate her life. I don't even feel bad for her. Here is her website: http://sheylahershey.net/


I need more time in my life. This has been the most stressful and longest summer session of my life. At least it's over on Monday. BLAH.

Farah

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Spain

Kate Alice Uggla-Gervais
Now that I have told the entire universe knows your name, I just want you to know I miss you.

It's really weird how spending just one summer, 5 weeks, with someone can bring you so close. Kate was my Spain buddy, and when we spent the weekends apart in Spain, we would write each other (ok really, she would write me... because she's a writer). I wrote things too, like "I had to go." But Kate wrote me letters about her weekend in Barcelona and icebars. I miss those weekends where we could just travel to another country like it was no big deal. I remember leaving one of the "discotechs" in Madrid early one night because I had to break into a bathroom stall and save Kate from too many Sangrias. I really didn't mind doing that because I know Kate would have done the same for me.

I remember throwing parties on the balconies in the Colegio and having late night study sessions on that balcony that over looked sweet, beautiful Madrid. I remember staying out until 7 a.m. one night because we missed curfew, and went to get churros and chocolate at a little cafe instead. (In Spain, everything pretty much stays open all night). I remember going to Club Kapital and getting lost on each floor of the 7-story club. I remember going to tapas restaurants and Volcano bars. I remember how the Pink Panther really opened my eyes to the world and allowed me to see my experience in a foreign land, like I was a local. I remember dear, sweet Roberto Roberto guiding us through the shops of Morocco, through the gypsy caves of Granada, through the signing of Ronaldo, through taking us to the beautiful city of Toledo, all the way through to the day we left Madrid at 6AM.

I miss my Angel Friends: Chelsea, Jessica, Emily, Kate.

I remember how much fun all us Angel Friends had during our visits to Morocco, Rome, Madrid and all over Spain. I remember arriving in Rome only wanting to eat some McDonald's but having the hardest time explaining to the taxi man what was Mikki-Donald's. I remember staying in a camp with sweaty Germans dancing and getting drunk at the bar/club on site. I remember staying in a tent with my boyfriend, Knasty in Rome. I remember roaming around the Vatican. I remember the Sistine Chapel. I remember the beautiful Spanish steps, the Colosseum and the Trevi fountain. I remember drinking lots and lots of Sangria and wine. I remember Hotel Metro, which caused so many issues from day one. I remember the cat in the airport. I remember running through the airport to catch seats on AirRyan. I remember Ryan. I remember walking through the shops of Morocco and being afraid of getting rapped the whole time. I remember Kate and I purchasing matching biff rings. I remember the land of rugs. I remember the spice shop. I remember eating cuscus while the little indian man played with fire in front of us. I remember going to the beach in Morocco. I remember riding a camel. I remember dancing with the mariachi band. I remember the poo-poo bandit. I remember all misadventures.

It's weird to think that a year ago today, I would be in Spain. I miss those 5 weeks more than I miss anything else in my life.

It's good that all of us live in Georgia and so close to one another, but it's also sad that we don't all hang out nearly as much as we should.
Kate traveled all the way to Florida to visit me, and when she moves to California, I'm going to go visit her. She just needs to stay in Georgia for sometime. Kate is the best boyfriend I've ever had. I got cards from her on my birthday, on valentine's day and sometimes just for the heck of it. I've saved them all.
I see Chelsea more than any of the other angel friends. I really like her as a person and I really think we have a lot in common. I love hanging out with her, I just wish I lived closed to Atlanta so I could go see her all the time.
I've seen Jessica a couple times since I've been back, and she's such a sweetheart. She's gone through so much in the past year and she is so strong. I know she's going to be successful and I want her to decorate my house.  =]
I've seem Emily a couple times as well, but its weird that I don't see her more often. We went to the same school and she worked right next to me and lived near me. But we still don't see each other enough, can we change this Emily?

That's it for my reminiscing on Spain. I just really miss it, today more than other days.










<3 Farah

Saturday, July 17, 2010

So what's up with tradition?

Why is it that everyone has to follow tradition? 


Tradition is defined as: 
"a long-established or inherited way of thinking or acting."


Key word: inherited. Isn't it more fun to come up with your own traditions? To make your own rules... to do things your way. I understand the culture part of tradition... yeah some of it is part of your roots, but why can't you change the way you do things. I feel like, as the universe progresses, so should we. Why is it that everyone is so afraid to let go of the past and break a norm. Sometimes, I feel as though I am the only one who believes in changing things up. Change is good... change is different... change allows you to be more creative and think outside the box. 


I know I don't think like most people, but I definitely want to define my own future, not have traditions define them for me.


Farah      

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Life and Rants.

I guess it's time I use this more... I just barley have any time!!


A lot of changes have been made in the past 6 months, but they've really helped me grow to be a better person. Of course there are people out there that still need to be worked out of my life, but that is a different issue.


I think it's funny how one person can handle a certain situation better than another, which is ok, since everyone is different. I just can't take people who complain all the time and like to think that everything is about them. Everyone goes through the motions of life, things change, people change, but life will continue to go on. Whether you choose to hang around in the past or move on to the future, is up to you. Fate is already determined, but it is up to you how you reach your destination.


Just because you're going through the ups and downs of life doesn't mean that gives you the right to make stupid decisions. It amazes me how people can make a life changing decision without even thinking about the consequences attached to them and then want people to feel sorry for them. I do feel sorry for them, just not the way they want me to.


That's it for my rants today. Stay tuned for next time!


Farah

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Compassion.

Haiti has undergone a lot of damage in the past week, and it seems as though not many people are taking it seriously and helping out. I think the best way for people to help this two-time earthquake stricken country would be by showing people the actual damage. Not the physical damage alone, but also the emotional damage. These people have lost not only their homes and personal belongings, but also some loved ones. If everyone would pitch in just five dollars, the cost of a mere cup of coffee at Starbucks, we would be able to help Haiti get back on it's feet. When 9-11 hit, we had people all over the world helping us, why can't we show the same compassion back?