Saturday, July 31, 2010


As I was driving home today, I was stopped in front of a couple on a motorcycle. They weren't at all young, probably around their 50's. I couldn't help but stare at them from my rearview mirror. They just looked soo happy. They were hugging each other, giving kisses, laughing... why can't I be happy like that? I want that, that's all I ever wanted.

I just want to be loved and I want someone to love me. Not just love me, but NEED me. I just want it sooo bad. I was sitting in my car listening to Love The Way You Lie by Eminem ft. Rihanna, and just started crying. I hope they didn't see me and think I was some sort of crazy person. I don't know why that song just makes me so emotional. I was such a wreck.

I just want a love like the Notebook. I want someone to stay by my side for the rest of my life, I want someone to love me even when I don't remember them. I want to lay in bed in each others arms. I want to share my every feeling and thought with that one person. I just want it sooooo bad. Why can't I have it?

It's been a entire week since I haven't said one word to him. I feel like it really is just over. I don't want it to be, but I can't take any more deceit or pain from the one person that's supposed to make me feel like life is worth living. I don't feel that way... I want to though... not with just anyone, but with him. It's not happening though, nor does it feel like he wants it to happen.

I better stop before I turn into a even bigger emotional wreck.


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